“Welcome to Subhash Chandra Bose International Airport, Kolkata. The temperature outside is 35 Degree centigrade and humidity is 74 %” announced the pilot. This was a completely unplanned trip. This was sudden planning as we planned to meet a few cousins who finally made it for this year’s Jamai Shosti celebration from the United States.

A treat for the son-in-law or Jamai awaits every year from his Shoshur bari (in-laws house) held in the Bengali month of Jaistha. Jamai Shosti is a social custom. His in-laws treat the jamai with his favourite delicacies. This is exceptional to ensure that he treats their daughter with due respect for the rest of the year. Though this reason is not a very justified one, the stories narrated mean so. He is offered gifts and treated with an array of delicacies.

This ancient custom has been practised for ages by the Bengalis. According to a legend, a family lived in a small town. The daughter-in-law of that family was a greedy woman who used to eat most of the food and blamed it on the cat that regularly came into their kitchen. The cat once complained about the injustice to Goddess Shosti. Later the daughter-in-law gave birth to seven sons and a daughter. But all her children were stolen. She was devastated and depressed and went to the jungle with a broken heart. On seeing her in tears, Goddess Shosti felt bad. She appeared before her as an old lady and asked the reason for her sorrow. The young woman narrated her story. Goddess Shosti reminded her of her past sins. She apologized for her behaviour and asked for mercy. Then the old woman asked her to perform some social rituals to get back her children. Thus, from that day onwards, women folks take advantage of praying and performing puja to the Goddess Shosti for their children on the sixth day of the bright phase of Jyestha. Gradually this day developed as Jamai Shosti as the son-in-law was also a child for the mother-in-law.

It was 6.30 pm. The crimson-hued mansion was lit with the chandeliers when we reached. The entire family was seated in the huge courtyard yapping. The kids were playing on the two elongated balconies running both around the ground and the first floor. We entered the house through the public entrance that led to the courtyard. These Bonedi Bari or old mansions have two typical entrances; one leads to the public areas like the courtyard and Boithok (Public seating area) and the other to the semi-private or the private areas like the dining room, kitchen and bedrooms. The family was busy indulging themselves in the Muri (puffed rice) and Telebhaja (Fritters made out of various vegetables) which is a ritual in the Bengali households as the most popular evening snack.

The next day was really special. Jamai Shosti is a festival of gastronomic celebrations and a conventional Bengali affair. Though the fast pace of life and the changing social norms has mellowed down the once very happening social custom among the Bengalis. This particular day calls for the mothers-in-law to brace with unusual culinary skills and present mouth-watering delicacies.

Jethu (Eldest Paternal uncle) and Kaku (youngest paternal uncle)left really early in the morning to the fish market to get the fresh catch. Large-sized fishes were delivered to homes but my uncles always got it themselves. The unstated goal of most fathers-in-law lies in getting the best Ilish (Hilsa)fish in the market. In fact, a father-in-law’s rating points often depend on the quality and size of the Hilsa he can procure for his son-in-law. Unfortunately, June is not the correct time for a fresh Hilsa catch but that does not deter anyone from paying a fortune for a fish that has been preserved in cold storage for months.

My brothers went to get the sweets. The hari of Rosagollas and packets of sondesh were placed on the huge marble-topped dining table. The full course lunch right from gorom hate ghee to pan was prepared by the food-loving Bengalis for their loving sons-in-law. My Jethima (eldest paternal aunty) and kakima (youngest paternal aunty)along with Putul Di (Our age-old cook for everyday cooking) and Kalu Da (Our celebrity chef who had been managing all the weddings and special occasions in our family) were busy managing their respective tasks for the lunch. Lunch is always more extensive in Bengal.

Two of our cousin sisters arrived with their husbands who had been recently married and this was the first Jamai Shosti for the new sons-in-law who were carrying packets of misti or Bengali sweets for his mother-in-law. Jamais are supposed to wear traditional Dhuti (Dhoti) and Panjabi (Kurta.  On the arrival of the sisters and brother-in-law, a brief social ritual was performed. Jamai was given five fruits, mostly seasonal ones like Lichi, Mango, Jackfruit, Jamun etc, followed by Aashirbad or blessings with Dhan (paddy) and Dubbo (tender grass). A mark or a phota with curd was applied on the forehead and a yellow thread was tied around his wrist. The entire ritual has been usually performed seating on the ground on an Asan (mat). The Jamai usuallygifts the mom-in-law a sari on this occasion. These rituals have been performed for ages to date. Usually, it’s a day-long gastronomical affair starting from the morning itself. The welcome commences with a cool drink like the Aam pora Shorbot (burnt mango drink) to beat the heat along with an oppressive spread of sweets that continues for the entire day. The Khejurer Sondesh (Date sweet) is one unique dessert prepared in our family. Every family has their own set of delicacies for every particular occasion. Another famous yet lost sweet, Chandrapuli, was made by my Thakuma (Paternal Grandmother) on special occasions, one being Jamai Shosti.

Though the traditional picture of a Jamai Shosti in Bengal is the son-in-law squatting on the floor on a hand-embroidered mat with a huge metal thali and at least a dozen bowls stuffed with delicacies as the mom-in-law looks over, cooling him down with a hand-held fan or Hath pakha. But now the days have changed. The air conditioners have now made the gastronomic torture more bearable. No one really sits on the floor except perhaps in a few traditional households like ours. Another ritual that was performed as heard from the elders of the family was where a Totto (An array of decorated trays) was sent to the son-in-law’s house with homemade traditional sweets and all the seasonal fruits. The totto was incomplete without a hari (earthen pot) of Misti Doi (Sweetened Yogurt). A pair of new clothes for the jamai and maye (Daughter) was also sent.

Hinger kochuri (Asafoetida puffed breads) and Chola- alu dom (Chickpea and potato curry) was served to everyone as the jolkhabar or breakfast, all of them being a no onion no garlic recipes. The elderly women were busy preparing the lunch which had always been the main attraction of the day.

While our cousins were engrossed in gossiping, we heard Jethu calling us to the dining area for lunch. As we approached, the distinct aroma of Jamidari Polao (Traditional Pulao) and Kosha Mangso (Bengali Mutton curry) filled the air. The Mayee and Jamai sat on the mats arranged on the floor. It was a spectacular view, which is very common in every Bengali house on this particular day. A huge metal plate surrounded by numerous metal bowls full of the day’s special recipes. This year was a little more special for the entire family as all the cousins managed to make it for this occasion after a very long time.

The course generally progresses from lighter to richer and heavier and goes through various tastes and taste cleansers. Rice remains common throughout the entire meal. Sada Bhaat is paired with a dal along with at least 5 bhajas (fries). We were served Aaam dal (Mango dal cooked in Masoor dal) which is a summer favourite along with Begun (brinjal) Bhaja, dharosh (lay finger), potol (pointed gourd) bhaja, aloo (potato) bhaja and posto narkel boda (poppey seeds and coconut cutlets). The Chanar Dalna (Cottage cheese curry), Dhokar dalna (Lentils cake curry), Chingri malai curry (Tiger prawns cooked in coconut gravy), Bhapa Ilish (Steamed Hisla fish) was paired with steamed rice. Then came the Kosha Magsho with the Jamidari polao (fragrant rice) and finally the aam chaţni (mango chutney) was served.

While few of us decided to indulge in Bhaat ghooom (sleeping after a meal) which is the most satisfying moment for a Bengali after a sumptuous meal, others didn’t want to miss any chance to be with the family and have a nice time. We have a family tradition of kodi khela (playing with the shells) on this special occasion. This is a fun ritual where the daughter hides a shell in her fist and the Jamai needs to open it up with the help of the little finger only. In the next round, the daughter tries to do the same and it is believed that if the daughter wins the game, then she dominates the married life for the next year. 

The evenings are more fun and musical, especially in our family. The entire family gathered in the open courtyard where all performed whatever they were good at. Abriti (Recitation of poems), dance on Rabindra sangeet (Songs written by Guru Rabindranath Tagore) and later the new generation danced to modern Bengali songs. The dinner was Kolkata style Mutton biryani (with potatoes and Boiled eggs), chicken chaap (Chicken in yogurt and dryfruit gravy), luchi (poori) cholar dal (Channa Dal) and an array of Misti (sweets).

Bengal is known for its “Baro masshe tero pabon” which means thirteen festivals in twelve months and Jamai Shosti is one of them. This is a festival of bringing the entire family together and also a celebration of a dying ritual.